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My Neighbor won’t stop singing Christmas carols.
It’s a little bit ridiculous to hear “Deck the Halls” only a few days after Halloween. I mean I’m all for the spirit of Christmas and I’m no Grinch, but to wake up at 6am on November 4th and hear my neighbors singing was enough to irritate me. I’ve lived in this house going on three years and I know the neighbors in the sense that we’ve waved while taking care of our yards and discussed the weather if we happen to see each other outside while taking the trash cans out or checking the mail. A nice family of three or four if you include their dog Chello. I’ve seen them decorate their house for all the major holidays and last year they at least waited until the day after Thanksgiving to start putting up Christmas lights and such. Our houses are not made of paper either and we both have a decent enough yard that I’ve never heard so much as a loud television or even music come from that house. So, this is the first I’ve ever heard them singing and they must be really going all out for it to carry this well. When it woke me up at 6, I attempted to cover my head with my pillow, which didn’t work, then I turned on an ambient white noise sound and thankfully that lulled me back to sleep. The problem is that when I woke up at a comfortable 8am they were still singing, Not Deck the Halls but now they were singing “Joy to the World” …again, its NOVEMEBER 4th! I tried to shrug it off and go about my morning. I took a hot shower and brushed my teeth, made some toast and slipped on my work shoes all while hearing “Joy to the World”. They must be singing the songs several times each because I know for a fact, they started with “Deck the Hall’s”. I usually left my house through the carport door, but I wanted to check out their house and see if these maniacs had already decorated their house as well. When I stepped out of my front door, I immediately noticed the wife and daughter standing on their doorstep in their night clothes, they were both facing the inside of the house and singing to the husband Arnold, or as he liked to be called Arnie, who stood in the doorway with one hand on the door as if he had just opened it. These people were caroling their own house…and the daughter, I think her name was Tania or something like that, probably should be in school. “Taking a sick day folks?” I asked with a raised voice to call over the singing. They didn’t reply so I stepped closer to my vehicle in the drive way and looked back towards their house again. Arnie looked back at me with just his eyes and a wide grin that looked strained. “You guys take requests?” I asked. Again, they didn’t reply. Not very Christmassy of them to ignore me I thought before climbing into my vehicle and heading to work. * I got home at 4… and they are still singing. Right now, its “Silent Night.” The wife and daughter are still in their nightclothes and Arnie…still held the door wide open. The first thing I did when I pulled in was honk a few times to try and get their attention, but they didn’t stop, they didn’t even turn their heads to look at me. I stepped out of the car and started across the small patch of grass that separated our houses, I was in his lawn and maybe five feet from them when I heard something else, something mixed in with the singing. I stopped and tried to isolate the sound, it seemed to be coming from inside. I looked up and caught Arnie’s eyes. It was him, he was making noises through his wide forced smile and clenched teeth. I froze and stared at him. “Arnie, what’s going on here are you guys okay?” I asked nervously. “Emm Emm” he grunted back, his eyes shifting left to right quickly. I took it as a no. I stepped forward again, but he grunted so loudly that I recoiled back to where I was. “Arnie, what’s going on?” I asked, not sure of how he could explain with grunts. I looked at his wife and daughter quickly, the poor girls were shoeless standing in small half dry puddles of their own urine. Arnie as well. They had stood there all day long. “Arnie…” I didn’t even know what to say. I could barely think over the damned singing. I could hear their voices breaking a bit, surely, they would lose their voices soon. Another loud grunt and I looked back to Arnie, his eyes were darting over his left shoulder. Without getting closer I tried to peek into the open house. Between his wife and daughter and under his arm I could see what looked like a Christmas tree they had set up, a tall tree so thickly covered in dark green pine needles that I could barely make out the full shape of it. It hadn’t been decorated yet, but boxes of ornaments and lights were at it’s base. “The tree?” I asked. Arnie groaned once loudly in acknowledgement. I crouched a little to see the tree more. Their dog Chello lay at the tree’s trunk, a branch protruded from the dog’s stomach in a mixture of blood and fur. I wanted to gag. It looked like one of them had maybe stabbed the dog with a branch? No…the branch was still attached to the tree. I hesitantly took a step closer to see around the door frame. Arnie squealed in protest. As he did the tree nervously shook and the branch retreated back into the pine quickly. This was enough for me. I turned and unlocked my front door quickly. Stepped inside and slammed it closed all while hearing the girls broken voices singing “We wish you a Merry Christmas” I pulled out my cellphone and called 9-1-1 As soon as the Operator answered I gave them my address and tried my best to explain what I had seen. The Operator seemed unsure but said they would send someone over anyways. When I hung up, I heard a faint voice outside. I checked through the blinds and saw the neighbor from the other side of Arnie’s house storming across his yard and shaking his fist at them. “Goddamit Arnold shut these women up and do this inside your house not out here where all of us have to listen to this crap all day!” barked their neighbor, I didn’t know his name. He was walking quickly towards them. I opened my door and stepped out. “Sir…hang on.” I said hesitantly, not really sure what I was even stopping him from. He didn’t hear me at all or was just so enraged that he tuned me out. He crossed his yard and into theirs. I looked past him and saw who I assumed to be his wife, an equally elderly woman, standing at their door looking over. “Hello! Earth to Wendy! Earth to Arnie did you hear a damn word I sa-“ he reached them. And he stopped talking. He froze about 6 inches closer to them than I had gotten. He turned to face Arnie and opened his mouth and began to sing along with them. His raspy old voice mixed in with the voices of Wendy and their daughter Tiana. “Ben? Ben what are you doing? Ben?” called the other neighbor’s wife. She stepped onto the grass of her own yard. This time I yelled out “DON’T! Don’t go near them!” “What is he doing? What are any of them doing?” she asked confused. “I don’t know what’s going on.” I replied truthfully. Cautiously I walked across their yard until I was in front of the door but far enough from it that I didn’t think I was going to start singing anytime soon. I looked at Arnie who had tears running down his widely grinning face. I walked further around until I was closer to the other neighbor. I looked back at the carolers and could see the Mother and Daughter’s faces were wet with tears but still…they sang. And the old man Ben singing right along with them. * Sirens cut through the Christmas Carols as a patrol car came down the road towards us. I walked out to the curb and waved them down while I looked around to see the neighbors across the street had stepped out to watch, as well as the neighbors a few houses down. They all looked on confused. The patrol car pulled up and two officers stepped out. The first was taller and bald and the second was older and just barely overweight. “What’s going on here?” The tall one asked. I walked closer to them quickly and explained everything I could. It made no sense as I said it out loud but they officers listened, each one turning a curious eye towards the carolers. “And you said this man started singing when he got close to them?” The other asked. “Yes, I got close but obviously not as close as he did.” I explained. “And you don’t feel like singing?” The other asked with a slight smile. “No…look do you think I would have called if this wasn’t serious?” I demanded. That officer stopped smiling and turned towards my neighbor’s house. As he stepped towards them, I heard a car pull in to a nearby driveway. I turned to see if it was another cop car. It wasn’t, just one of the neighbors pulling in with their own dark green Christmas tree strapped to the top of the SUV. I turned back to the carolers and watched the older officer keeping a safe distance and calling out to them several times. No replies. The officer returned to us and shrugged. “I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do here, they aren’t breaking any laws exactly.” Said the officer that had gone forward. The taller officer began talking into his radio, explaining the situation to someone at what I assumed to be the police station. I looked around at the neighbors standing about watching. Some had joined each other in discussion. All while this family and the man named Ben began to sing “Jingle Bells” After a few minutes of waiting around I looked back towards the neighbor in the SUV, they had removed their tree and disappeared into their house. Odd that two families should be setting up trees so soon. Odder that the trees looked so similar, same dark color and excessive thickness to the pine needles… My stomach dropped, I turned to one of the officers. “Hey, they had a tree just like theirs!” I said pointing to the other house. As I did the two officers followed my pointing. We all looked over at the house about four down from mine, as the front door opened, and a woman stepped out. She turned to face the open house where a man stood holding the door. His face was a wide toothy grin…and she began to sing, perfectly in tune with my neighbors they all sang. Category:Reddit Pastas Category:Christmas